Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I <3 Rain!

I had a sudden urge to be productive and write. At first, I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized it was because it started raining outside, and rain really puts me in my groove. Oh I am such a product of Seattle.

In other news, the 7 year old girl I nanny for called me out today for wearing a girl’s shirt. In my defense, I bought it without realizing it was a girl’s shirt; it was super cheap so I just grabbed it. The design on it is gender neutral, but the fit is definitely more feminine; the neck is a little wider, the sleeves shorter, and very fitted. However, I do not say so apologetically. I am by no means opposed to wearing women’s shirts. I often browse the women’s department for clothes that I could pull off (especially the jeans). The only
shirt I have bought consciously knowing it was a girl’s shirt was this one:

What can I say? It was on clearance and I needed something to wear to Pride… ;-)

Speaking of jeans, I have a funny progression in my jean sizes to describe.

In 10th grade, I used to buy size 32x32. Then I realized I was a 32x30. I had one pair of 31x30 but didn’t like them. In 12th grade, I bought two pairs of Levi’s size 30x30. That was a big step for me. One was the Slim Straight fit and I didn’t wear them for a long time because I was embarrassed that they were too tight and I felt emo. My freshman year of college they became my favorite jeans. Now, I wear those jeans when I want to wear something a little looser and more airy. The jeans I buy now are slim fitted 28x30’s. (and its not because I am skinnier) That is about as small as i can wear. Also, I regularly try on girl pants but haven’t found any I really like yet (I think I wear a size 6 though). When I do though, I will not hesitate nor be embarrassed to buy them.

The housekeeper came earlier this week and I realized that I was totally outed to her as she tidied my bathroom and room.

Incriminating Evidence:

  • The rainbow “embrace diversity” banner on the dresser
  • Three kinds of pink lip gloss (roll on, brush on, squeeze on) on the dest
  • A copy of The Advocate on the dresser
  • A flyer for a dance party coming up with Queer written in big bold letters across it on the nightstand
  • 8 pairs of shoes on the floor
  • My knitting on the bed
  • Clothes in closet organized according to color
  • etc.

  • Medicine cabinet full of hair and face products such as:
  • Apricot Mango Radiance Shave Gel
  • Herbal Essences hair spray (Cactus Flower and Bamboo scented…. Mmm)
  • Rose Hip scented Herbal Essences Shampoo & Conditioner (my ALL TIME favorite)
  • Garnier Fructis Molding Wax
  • Well-used tweezers
  • etc.

Very gay.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Bits and Pieces.

I don't feel like composing a whole post. So here are a bunch of random thoughts.

I sprained my left oblique abdominal muscle last week coughing. It really hurts.

I went to the Burlington, Vermont Pride Fest (Cirque du So Gay) recently and I LOVED it.

I am so over and done with the LDS Church.

Everyone has me feeling like I am marching off to my doom by returning to BYU, and they might be correct.

I have made a lot of friends out here in NY/VT but they all live an hour drive and a $20 ferry ticket away.

I love earl gray tea and decaf soy lattes.

I really love hazelnut espresso milkshakes. mmmm

I feel happy and satisfied with life but still feel I am in need of a good session of bawl-my-eyes out catharsis.

My favorite song of all time is Into The West, as sung by Annie Lennox.

I understand that many gay and lds people are very conflicted and are in great pain, but I don't want to be around their depression anymore.

I feel like taking a break from blogging.

I miss my friends from high school and college and church and elsewhere who are now spread across the country.

I've never been in a relationship before. I want to.

I've never tasted alcohol. I don't want to.

Two days after the consumption of caffeine, I get a migraine.

I still have issues being able to express my feelings to anyone. Damn closet.