Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Flip Flop

I wanted to say a little about my feelings about the Church. If you can't tell from some of my previous posts, I go back and forth a lot.

Some days, I am terribly bitter. I get upset at the institution of the Church and its leaders. I feel like I never want to step into another chapel again.

Other days, I am intensely nostalgic. I desperately miss the Church and all that it was to me during high school. It makes me really sad that this is how things have to be.

Oftentimes, I will compose a blog entry, but not post it. The next day I go back to read it and I don't feel the same way anymore, so I don't end up posting it. I suppose one day my flip-flopiness will balance out to a pleasant equilibrium, or at least that is what I hope will happen.

And this video is fantastic. Beautiful and profound.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Out and About

I officially came out to my first friend on January 29, 2008.

As of August 15, 2008, I officially have no one left on my list to come out to.

I am now completely out to everyone in my life. It feels strange; it feels surreal. I never would have thought that I would ever get to the point I am at. Throughout my adolescence my homosexuality seemed as if it was going to be something that I kept to myself my entire life. At best, I only thought a few people would ever know. Now everyone knows, and I couldn't go back even if I wanted to.

A part of me still feels vulnerable, but above all, I feel great. I don't have to hide anything from anyone anymore. I can be who I want to be and do what I want to do without worrying about other people. A lot of people don't necessarily agree with my plans for the future, but they still trust and love me and aren't going to let that get in the way of our relationship.

I feel so free and so open and so much better than I had expected.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Here I am! The first one and the last one are especially good.

Monday, August 4, 2008


I was so happy I cried.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Censorship and Authenticity

I do not believe in censorship.

I do not believe in hiding who you are.

It is no way to live.

Therefore, I am now done with every aspect of the facade.

Every tiny aspect.

Totally, completely, one hundred percent.


My name is not neo.

My name is Thomas Edward Johnson.

I go by Tommy.

I was born on July 25, 1989, at 4:23 PM in American Fork, Utah.

I am gay.

I love who I am.

I would not change it for anything.

I attend BYU.

The link to my facebook:

This is what I look like.

My social security number is... just kidding.

I make a pledge, right here right now, to never delete this post.

Now, come what may.

Truth always wins out.