During the Christmas break, I had quite a bit of glorious time in which I got to do whatever I felt like. Over the course of two days, I watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended editions of course).
I really love those movies (sometimes to the point that they become my drug), but I was thinking about something interesting during them.
It was in middle school that I found of Sir Ian McKellen was gay. I probably just read about it online or something, but I was in such a strange mental state (you know—the whole shame/self hate phase *rolls eyes*) that I could hardly bring myself to even think about the films even back then. Every time I would think about the Lord of the Rings the homosexuality of Gandalf’s actor would inevitably pop into my head. It thoroughly ruined the movies. I told my best friend about it too one day and he was incredibly angry at me for telling him because it had the same effect on him (hmm…).
Of course, I got over it after a couple of months and could put that aside and once again enjoy the pleasure that LOTR is for me.
This is the first time I have watched the movies in a while and I was surprised by how different things were for me. I had largely forgotten about the phase I had gone through before when I learned of Ian McKellen’s homosexuality.
As I watched, I was really impressed by Ian’s ability as an actor. Just as it shouldn’t, his sexual orientation doesn’t matter to me at all any more and wasn’t a factor in my judgments of him.
So I now have this overwhelming respect for the man and how good of a job I think he did in the movies. In fact, I have to admit that I find his prowess as an actor and other life accomplishments and integrity as a person to be very attractive (in a platonic sort of way of course).
The point is Sir Ian McKellen is super cool and I’m shocked and ashamed (in a way) to remember the paradigms of life I held in middle school. Though I don’t suppose I can hold it against myself too much.